A lamp unto my feet

I have to admit that the last couple of weeks have had of a lot of inner struggle for me, as I did my work and lived my life here and wondered: is this really where I am supposed to be? What should I do with my life? What is the best thing I could do with my life? Is God calling me to long-term cross-cultural missions? Am I willing to say yes if He is?

I had these and a lot more questions. Questions about where I should live and what my job should be and what education I should take. It doesn’t help that after September 1^st I have absolutely no idea what I will be doing for a job. I know where I will live and I know how I would like to spend my spare time. But as for work and possibly school, these stand in my future like a giant question mark.

Actually most of my future is a giant question mark, and for a girl like me who wants to know exactly what to expect, that is frustrating. I feel envious of those people who always have known what they want to do and spend their lives doing the thing they love. As for me, there are a million and one things I love doing, and I am not sure what vocation would be best. Things would be a lot easier if I just knew what exactly I am supposed to be doing for my whole life.

I remembered a song we used to sing at Pioneer Clubs and it is based on Psalm 119:105, which says “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”  From this I get an image of playing a game called Grogs at camp, which, if you are not familiar with it, involves walking through the woods at night. All you have is a flashlight to illuminate the path, and all you see is the little bit of path directly in front of you where the flashlight is shining. You don’t see the whole forest stretching before you- but the little bit of light before you is enough to find your way. The Bible doesn’t say “Thy word is a GPS showing every turn I’ll have to make on the path before I reach the destination.” It’s a lamp to my feet, showing the next step. And that’s enough.

So, I’ve stopped worrying so much about the future, and instead I want to focus on God and His Word. Because what I do with my life isn’t as important as why I do it, and who I do it with. And I hope the answers to the who and the why questions are: with Jesus, and because He’s good. Anything else is just details.

And I have to say, yesterday as I stood in a crowded almendra outside of a church as everyone danced and sang tirelessly for hours, I did not doubt that this is where God wanted me to be right now. And, yes, I will quote my favourite Latin-American booty-shaker on this: “this time for Africa.”

So now I know one of the reasons why there are no wooden houses...

We went to a wedding

Road to Nampula