2013

Question: What does a person do when it is the end of the year and she is immobile and cannot leave the house?

If you answered "Watch four episodes of Gilmore Girls," then you would be correct. But if you answered "Pray and reflect on the previous year," you would also be correct. Such is my post-knee injury life. But seriously, it's the end of 2013 and this has been a pretty intense year for me.

Here's a quick recap, in case you are at all interested:
I begin the year at Urbana, an missions conference for students that takes place every three years in Saint Louis, Missouri. It was a great experience and I actually made a commitment there to serve in overseas missions. At Urbana, I had been hoping that God would just kind of speak to me and tell me what I should do for the rest of my life. This did not happen, but actually I felt a lot of peace.

The winter of 2013 then happened, and this included tons of work on the big scary thesis, learning to drive a stick, buying my first car (woo hoo!), my first car breaking down, my first repair bill, my first insurance bill, etc....  But really, God blessed me with incredible friends, incredible student leadership and sweet sweet breakfast-and-worship sessions. Yes, there was a lot of stress. But there was also a lot of joy among the stress: playing with brand-new baby Ian. Introducing our prairie roommate to fresh lobster. Walks on the dykes followed by free samples at everyone's favourite grocery store, Pete's.

One of the few photos I have of my beloved car, Gertrude (taken at Three Pools)

And then suddenly, everything happened all at once. My thesis was due. We planned a huge end-of-the-year party for IVCF. I was planning and support-raising for my summer work. And then my grandmother passed away.

My Grammy Main had suffered from Alzheimer's for about six or seven years. It had been a few years since she even recognized me or since we could even have a coherent conversation. So, in a way, her death was a gift. The sooner it came, the fewer years we had of remembering her in this uncharacteristic state. Although we had been expecting Grammy to go for some time, it did not change the fact that it was very sad. I miss her. She was one of the biggest role models in my life.

It seemed that from that point, I never rested (until now, of course). First exams, then getting ready for the Halifax Urban Partnership and for my Wycliffe internship in Mozambique, then, well, the HUP, and smack in the middle of that, graduation.

I have been thinking a lot about the Halifax Urban Partnership (affectionately known as the HUP) and what God was doing through that. I think one of the biggest things I learned from that is to treat every day (every moment!) as an opportunity to listen to God and to serve him and others. I remember one day a few of us were walking back "home" from church. We had to stop by the grocery store to pick up some things for lunch, given a few dollars of "team cash" to use. Outside of the grocery store there was a young man begging. We felt compelled to chat with him and to get him some food. He really appreciated it, and it was a joy for us to be able to help him. But you see, that was not the task in front of us. The initial task was to buy ourselves a couple loaves of bread. Too often, I am so single-mindedly thinking of the thing I have to do that I forget to be open to the things God may have me do. Sometimes, things just seem to get in the way of what I am doing. It is an everyday thing to learn to be open to God leading. Like seriously. I have to relearn it every single day.

I liked this photo that I took during the HUP

I was at home for a day before heading over to Mozambique. I spent a lot of time on airplanes and in airports before finally looking out the plane window and seeing the coconut trees, tin roofs and red dusty streets of Nampula, Mozambique. It took so much prayer and support from all of you to get that far, and I was groggy and wide-eyed as I met the folks with whom I would spend the next three months. Those three months were times of learning humility, as I learned to deal with life in a different culture. I learned about taking risks and saw a beautiful sunset every single night. I had a ton of fun babysitting three of the most wonderful kids in the world. I learned how to slackline. I acted out a folk story about the sun and the North Wind.  I got to know people from Mozambique, the United States, Britain, Germany, and Sweden, to name a few spots. And my Old Testament professor would be proud to hear that I did a presentation on imprecatory Psalms.

 I thought I would share this photo of slacklining in Mozambique. I think it's a good metaphor of my time there. When you are slacklining, the best way to have good balance is to keep low and keep going. And from my limited experience, I am pretty sure that is the key to living and serving in a different context than what you're used to. I need to always remember to stay humble and to never give up.

A photo from the 24-hours of prayer we had at Acadia

After Mozambique, I came back to Canada with a lot more questions than I had when I left, especially about the direction my life should be going. I had hoped to have a little more time to spare this year in Wolfville, but somehow I managed to be just as busy as always. With a job as a server, a class at night-time, weekly potlucks, Bible studies and tutoring sessions, I was stretched thin. But God was very much present. Spontaneous worship and prayer is becoming a part of our little Christian student subculture and I am thrilled. One of the highlights of the past few months has been learning more about different spiritual gifts, including things I have been skeptical of like prophecy and healing. But I know God is much bigger than my skepticism. He will work how he will work.

Another big surprise of the year was winning a trip to Cameroon! I am still pretty much reeling from that.

So, my prayer for 2014 is this: I want to be more available to God. So much of my time and energy go into things that are not worshiping him.

I spent the first few moments of the year reading Habakkuk, of all books. I love love love Habakkuk's prayer in chapter 3. This, too, is my prayer:

O Lord, I have heard of your renown,
    and I stand in awe, O Lord, of your work.
In our own time revive it;   
 in our own time make it known. (verse 1)


Though the fig tree does not blossom,
    and no fruit is on the vines;
though the produce of the olive fails,
    and the fields yield no food;
though the flock is cut off from the fold,
    and there is no herd in the stalls,  
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
    I will exult in the God of my salvation. 
 God, the Lord, is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,    
 and makes me tread upon the heights. (verses 17-19)