Christmas=Love

Christmas was yesterday. I like Christmas. This particular year, I have seen love in action in ways I have never seen it before!
Here's an example: we went to see the Sunday matinee of the Hobbit. Afterwards, we planned to meet some friends at their house (about a 15 minute drive in the country) to have stew in the woods. Stew in the woods is sort of a tradition. We go into the woods and make a fire and make stew. It is more awesome than it sounds. I still think it sounds pretty awesome. We were really looking forward to this. But on the way home from the movie theatre, it was snowing really hard and the roads were slippery. Once we got home, we had to have a long discussion on whether or not to go to our friend's house for stew in the woods. Finally, we decided against it, because of the road conditions, but we were disappointed. That was when our neighbour knocked on the door. She had brought frozen pizzas, salad, ice cream, candy canes, and even a DVD to watch. It was everything we needed to have a fun evening! God is WAY too good to me sometimes. But I am OK with that.

Christmas dinner at our place!

Another example is on Christmas Eve. After the Christmas Eve candlelight service at church, a friend from church called and offered to give us a turkey. We had been planning to just eat a chicken for Christmas Dinner but thanks to Mr. and Mrs. B, we got a turkey! It was delicious. God really does provide.
There were other things that made this Christmas wonderful: Handel's Messiah, Dutch blitz, Tim Tam slams, and finding bacon in the mailbox. It was fun to share Christmas with our friends from school who were visiting: last week our friends from the Bahamas, Ghana, and Mauritius were here, and for Christmas our guests were from the Bahamas and from China.
I am writing this from my room, which is really messy right now with Christmas gifts and packing for Urbana, which starts tomorrow. I am very ready to hear from God there.

Now I will share some thoughts about love that I wrote down over a year ago. The other day I was going through some papers and I found this:

So I had this thought today about what I wanted people to say at my funeral. I really want people to say I loved them. Like REALLY loved. Like I want to love so freely, so vulnerably and just so extraordinarily. I want to love in a way that is outside of social norms, that shows your love to everyone I know. Because you know it is not really normal to show love to people in our society. I mean, everybody says things like "Everybody should just love one another," but where do you see that? Instead people are getting mad at other people for butting in line or they are ignoring someone's text just to play it cool or they are talking about others behind their back. And I do those things too! But love is different! God's radical love can switch these things all around and upside-down and show the world His grace. And I realized today that I haven't really been showing that love. I have not been that open with people, and I am unwilling to make that investment in people's lives. I selfishly focus on things like schoolwork and even ACF activities, and forget the importance of building relationships. I guess in some cases relationships just kind of become built on their own but more often I need to be intentional in showing my love for people by giving them my time and listening to them and encouraging them.

God, I pray that I embody Your love today and everyday. God, if I really live our this love, it could seriously change everything around me. God, I pray that I do actually live this love, love as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. Here's what's holding me back from loving fully: I am scared of getting hurt, scared of being wounded, that other people will think I am weird or won't return my love or whatever. But that's how You are different.  I don't love people for their sake, exactly, or even for my sake, even though it works out best for the both of us in the end. No, I love people because I love You. You first loved us. Unconditionally, relentlessly, unfailingly. God, I am hopeful for what my life will look like as a) a background player in Your great story and b) a lover. 
Amen.

Review of the Semester

Click on this photo to see a bigger version of it. Clockwise from top: Music video in the woods; Tim Tam Slam; Malagash retreat; Christmas party; Walk in Her Shoes campaign; Young Adults Bible study; crepes; Malagash retreat; Anti-slavery week

Well, the semester is over and I am in the library (as is everyone else, it would appear), studying mathematical economics but taking this brief break to reflect on what has happened this semester in the IVCF group here at Acadia and how I saw God in life. When I think back to the things that happened, I am extremely thankful! I have probably mentioned most of these in this blog before but I am just going to go over some of the things that happened that I am really thankful for; my highlights. Not all of these are Acadia Christian Fellowship events, but they are all things that fostered Christian community on campus!:

• A bonfire in frosh week
• Anti-slavery week
• A worship night in the chapel including ACF, the gospel choir, young adults group and the chapel!
• Bible studies happening around campus
• Retreat at Malagash
• A speaker from Wycliffe at large group
•  Prayer group every Tuesday morning
• A Tim Tam slam after large group one week
• Hosting a potluck
• Making a music video in the woods
• The ACF Christmas party
• Raising money for our IVCF staff worker, who is pregnant with her first child
• Studying together
• Trips to the crepe place 

I was just thinking, when people look at our community, how does it reflect God's Kingdom? Are we representing it well?  This semester, we have been studying parables in Luke, and often, Jesus says "the Kingdom of God is like...." It is like a mustard seed that seems small and insignificant and first and then grows into an expansive, life-giving plant. It is like yeast that is spread into three measures of flour. It is like a seed that a farmer sows on the ground and grows out of good soil, and bears fruit.
 And, I hope, it is like us. This is what I think people would see if they are on the outside looking in. I hope we continue to be like this and to strive to be a community like this:

• A joyful group of people who look for any opportunity to celebrate
• People who REALLY like singing and making music together
• People who take time to care for others if a friend needs prayer or other assistance
• People who are honest and vulnerable and trust others with their struggles
• People who happily welcome others to join the party
• People from all different cultures and backgrounds
• People who like crepes a lot
• People who go all out to be nice, whether it is filling a piggy bank for our ICVF staff worker, making someone feel special on their birthday, or writing encouraging notes to one another
• People who genuinely want to do what God wants

I love the things God has been doing in this community this semester! I pray He would continue to help our community thrive. He has been so good to us!

This Week

Friends, it's been a while since I have written. And here's why: it's been such a wonderful week! I just could not decide what to write about because I have experienced a lot of lovely things (and a few not-so-lovely things) that I have learned something from. So I think I will just write about EVERYTHING.

The first thing I have to say is, I read a book called Love Does. The author is Bob Goff. There is so much I want to say about this book. I will just say this: read it. Reading it will make your life quite a bit better.
In fact, here is a link to buy it. Either that or you can just borrow it from me, I will gladly lend it to you. I have spent a lot of time this week telling everyone I see about this book.

Music video in the woods (photo from my roommate, Sarah)

Another thing that happened this past week is that some friends from another school visited. We know each other through InterVarsity, and we celebrated their visit with a potluck. At the end of this potluck, we ended up making a music video to a Christian song. In the woods. At night. And it was one of the most enjoyable things of my university career. There were so many different instruments like a guitar, a melodica, a ukulele, a banjo, tambourines, and even just a metal bowl with a spoon. What a unique way to worship!

The next morning, Allison (one of the girls who was visiting) woke up bright and early to go on a sunrise walk, and some people joined her. It also happened to be the first snow!

Afterwards, they ate breakfast at our apartment. There is really nothing I like more than eating with people around our kitchen table!  That Sunday was full of Christian community, from the early-morning walk, to church, to meeting some friends on the way to eat the BEST crepes ever, to skating (ok, confession, I did not go skating, I just met people afterwards for hot chocolate), to going to the last young adults Bible study of the semester.

This past weekend, I saw some of the most wonderful examples of Christian community. From eating together, to singing together, to praying together, there is something special about these people. I am overwhelmingly blessed to know them.
 

Young adults Bible study!

But the week- oh this week. Stress overtook me, I am afraid, and I spent many an hour in the library, puzzling over math problems and trying to sound like I know what I am talking about on this thesis. On Tuesday, I was having a very difficult time. I was in the library and I felt like I was drowning in work! My birthday was on Wednesday so I was feeling very sorry for myself. I was in the library and I may or may not have shed some silent tears (The stress got to me!). It was shaping up to be a very sad day. BUT that evening my family spontaneously visited here!
We had a most delightful trip out for dessert and my mother gave me a cross-stitch/needlepoint. Here it is. And below it is the note that came with it:

So that is another thing I am thankful for: family. I don't think any family is quite like mine. The kind of family who brings me squash. The kind of family who is completely OK with having a dance party to my new "African playground" CD. The kind of family who does this cool combination of group hug and prayer which is maybe kind of cheesy but I love it. We don't get a lot of time together and when we do, it is filled with joy and laughter.

Just one more thing I want to say: After this crazy, stressful week, I went to a concert last night of the university vocal ensemble, chamber choir and chamber orchestra. They performed a number of pieces including ones by Schubert, Eric Whitacre, and also Vivaldi's Magnificat.
It rapturous, enchanting, and life-giving. The most amazing thing was: it was free for students to go to! The chance to see a live orchestra- for free! And top-notch performance. I went away feeling FULL. 

There's a lot of other awesomeness from this week that I wish I could go into.
But the gist of it is this: God is good.

It's not about me

This semester at Acadia, we have been gathering together as an InterVarsity group every two weeks for "Large Group." We gather at a spot on campus on Friday night, sing praise and worship songs, hear a testimony from someone in our group, and hear a speaker. This year, we have had many interesting speakers, like a missionary fresh from Mongolia, a Wycliffe worker speaking about Bible translation (this was close to my heart), and an InterVarsity worker speaking about justice issues and the urban poor. After the large group, we usually enjoy just hanging out together. More often than not, this means a trip to Tim Hortons. I have enjoyed the Large Groups immensely this semester.
This past Friday, I got to be in charge of organizing large group and leading it! I did this a couple of times last year but not this year really.
And I can honestly say it was the best one we've had yet! So... yes, I wanted to pat myself on the back. Yay Hannah, organizing a successful event. But then I realized: it's not about me.
People did not come out to see me. They did not wonder what to do on Friday night and conclude "I think I'll go watch Hannah lead ACF." And if they did, I did not do a very good job planning it: I want people to come out to ACF because they want to encounter Jesus. I am overjoyed when I see lots of people attending these events because I see a beautiful community is growing.

This community is not about me. It is not about you, either. It is about Jesus. If this community is not Christ-centred, then I don't really want to be a part of it.

I read this in the Message and it's really different from the NIV but I think it is 100 percent true:

You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
-James 3:17-18

Introverted Life

So I was here in the kitchen, just puttering around by myself, cooking supper and listening to my ipod on shuffle, and I realized how content I am in this moment in time.
I had another moment like that recently, a moment when I am just living my life and I check myself and without noticing I have become completely content. The last time was when I was sitting in front of the fireplace on a visit home this past weekend, reading a delightful novel and drinking some tea.
I have these moments, it seems, when I am alone.

I am most content when I am alone. Not lonely, but alone. I suppose that makes me an introvert. I happily would put on that label. It's not that I don't love people. I also love moments when I am with people.

There are always sayings like "You'll never look back fondly on a night you stayed in and went to bed early."
For a while, I believed this, and I did not take very much time for myself. This was a bad idea.

Here are some facts about introverts that all you non-introverts may want to know:

• We (well, at least me) take a long time to make friends. If you met us eight months ago and you are just starting to get to know us, it's not because we don't like you. We most likely do like you. This is a reasonable timeline for us
• If you think it is an awkward silence, we may not think it is an awkward silence. We're OK with some breaks in the conversation

• A night in, reading or watching a movie on our couch is more attractive to us than, for example, a party where we only know a couple of people

• We do love you! It just makes us tired to spend a long long time with you :) That's just how we are, and it has nothing to do with you :)

Thank you for reading these introvert facts. Life is better when we understand one another!

Responding to disrespect

It's easy to sense disrespect. In my life, when people give me unsolicited advice, I see that as a sign of disrespect. I also feel disrespected when people respond to me with sarcasm, or when they use a condescending tone of voice.
When I feel disrespected, I feel angry. I feel hatred. A lot of times I don't know how to respond and just let bitterness grow in my heart. Sometimes I respond with a sharp word or a flat-out "that's rude." But I am learning not to.
I am learning to say "NO!" to the hatred and bitterness in my heart and to embrace forgiveness.
This is the hardest lesson I am learning lately. I have realized that God does not just love people who respect Him-- his love extends to everyone. How am I, as a Christian, any different from the world if I only love people I like?
This summer, before I went to BC, I was home for about a month and I was unemployed. So I got a lot of babysitting gigs with my hurricane of a four-year old neighbour. At first, I dreaded spending time with this boy, because-imagine this-I found it boring to entertain him! I am not one of those people who kids are naturally attracted to, and entertaining a four-year old boy for hours at a time is something that makes me exhausted. So I prayed about it, and I realized I was given an incredible opportunity to invest love into this small child's life! God just filled me with such a love for him and after that, I looked forward to spending time with him. And he enjoyed spending time with me, somehow! This just made me realize that when we feel like we have no more energy left to love people, God somehow gives us more.
So that is what I am praying for these days- just that God will give me a superhuman ability to love those around me, despite how I currently feel about them. For that is the only way to confront disrespect, and to confront the bitterness in my own heart: with God's love!

Maple leaves the colour of sunsets and other reasons I love fall in Nova Scotia

I am writing this post while eating an apple (which is more difficult than it sounds; my fingers are so sticky!), taking a break from working on my thesis.
I was going down the hill this morning, hair still wet from the shower, woolen socks and Birkenstocks on my feet, and I passed a maple tree in someone's front yard with leaves strewn all over. The leaves were brilliant colours of red, yellow and orange, and some were transitioning between all three. The air was crisp and cool and the sun was sharp.  And all  of the sudden I was aware of the leaves, in all their brilliance. I walk past this tree every single day on my way to and from campus. But today I was aware of it, aware of the uniqueness of each of the leaves and their sacredness. What an extravagant blessing.

I am blessed. With maple leaves the colour of sunsets. And then the sunsets themselves, the kind of sunsets that make me think, "God, you really outdid yourself tonight." I am blessed with this apple I am eating right now. I am blessed with Saturdays spent in the library and Wednesdays spent in coffee shops studying hard, writing papers, preparing for presentations. Because I have been given the opportunity to learn. I am blessed with the sound of a country song as I clean the house on a Sunday afternoon... and of a quarter-moon rising and falling as we play ultimate frisbee under the lights of the football field.

I am overflowing with gratitude for these blessings, and there are many more to add to that.
But most of all the maple leaves the colour of sunsets.